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Well, here it goes:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been the scrawny/ puny kid in school. I was ALWAYS the shortest, always the tiniest.

I was home schooled for part of high school; during this period I grew to 5'8" and was about 118 at my highest point. Come senior year- I started attending a public school, unconsciously cut junk food out of my life, started professionally modeling, and became about 110. Keep in mind, I never even thought about calories or weight yet. This just all happened naturally.

Summer of senior year- went to Panama for vacation, got EXTREMELY sick and couldn't keep ANY food down for about 3-4 days. By the time I came back, I was down to 105!!!

Then I started college...

And my eating patterns changed COMPLETELY. The only food they'd have at the cafeteria is pizza, hamburger, fries, pasta, burritos, and a small salad bar. Well, since I had NO idea about calories at this point, I ate whatever I wanted WHENEVER I wanted.

Then one day my roommate came home with a scale. I decided to weigh myself.. 114. I was shocked, how did I gain 10 pounds in A MONTH!? This started my consistent dieting patterns.

I started thinking that being really skinny will land me more modeling jobs, so every time I had a casting call, I would fast the day before.

I got down to about 105 again, but this made me REALLY depressed (which is weird, because I wasn't depressed when I was 105 before --without dieting, but through natural means). One day I went to a casting and saw a couple other models who were a little heavier than me. They got chosen and I didn't. So that day made me realize MAYBE it was something else that's wrong with me.. not JUST weight.

And I went on a binge. My first binge. I had about 2000 calories in one sitting.

This day started my VICIOUS cycle of binging/ fasting/ dieting.


*Now, it's second semester of college and I moved into my sorority house. Our cook used to be a profession pastry chef. Perfect.. right..? NO WAY!! She doesn't know the FIRST thing about healthy cooking. On RARE occasions when we would have steamed veggies for dinner, she'd put oil all over it! Ew

And on top of that, we have a small kitchen open to the girls 24/7 --well stocked with bagels, 5 different types of cereals, milk, yogurt, muffins, cream cheese, peanut butter, and basically every SUPER fattening carb source haha.

I pretty much binged out everyday for 2 straight months. I got back to 118. That. Freaked. Me. Out. A lot.

It definitely triggered my dieting habits again.

But I still binge out, especially AFTER a major photo shoot or fashion show. This is because I feel like I'm obligated to overeat since I starved myself so much before hand. But each binge makes me gain about 4 pounds, so that triggers me to HARDCORE diet afterwards.